it has been months now , my heart is still in a million pieces , it's as if when you lose a loved one , a part of you goes with them . i find myself at times crying for no reason but i guess that is just me missing you a bit more , the sad part of it all i cannot bring you back . i try so much to talk about how i feel but its as if the more i talk about how much it hurts me , the more it gets to me .
i get to process everything in my head , i would pretend as if i am having a conversation with you just laugh and to get through the day , there are times i am a hundred percent fine and you get days where i am at my complete worst . i pray for strength on a daily basis , there are times i feel like i cannot make it . i want to live so badly , i am currently running on survival it is such a lonely road .
i wish i could fully express myself and take everything that is inside of me but i do not know where to start , a lot is happening in my head which puts me in a position of self-doubt which at times leads to depression . depression is a part of my life which i am not open about , i deal with it on my own . it comes with bottling the little things that occur in my life .
it is a pattern , a never-ending cycle...
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