we might need more hours added to today , i need to know why am i feeling this way .
i finished that bottle of wine , i figured we need to sit down and talk .
again , i feel bad for hurting , i am busy telling myself that i should not be feeling this way , but damn i am here and feeling all kind of emotions .
hurt , is the bottom factor because i will not feel like i did before .
anger , i am angry at myself for feeling this way and for allowing another person to put me this down .
relief , i am relieved cause i have to let a part of me breath .
happy , i get to be a part of myself that i always wanted to be .
but fuck ? all at what cost ? can we talk ?
i never signed up for this bullshit but here i am neglecting the goal ahead .
you were supposed to be the end goal but i chose to forget about you , now i need that element of myself to breath again and i am afraid , it is a bit too late now .
i lay in this bed and think about everything and i get upset !!
let us talk about how i took you in and you got to explore certain things about yourself that you never showed to anyone , now i have to rest and act as if this shit does not affect me , it fucken does , what can we do from here ?
yes , yes , yes , you are gone to whoever !!! no need to rub that to myself but i have to , i have to remind myself where everything is at and how to fully let go of the situation but damn tell me that i am dreaming , this does not make sense . remind me of how time has flown by right before our eyes and how people can change , the change was very evident from my side , i am sorry but i had to escape .
lets take a walk , i am not done talking , we need to talk more , i can feel tears coming my way , i will need to be able to process this and talk again from a place of laughter and light comments , we need to talk from a place of being calm...
...lets take a walk , i am not done talking , we need to talk more .
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