camping on those thoughts ,

i took a walk the other day ,

i thought about all the times i was not fine ,

especially all the times i was not fine with myself ,

but i knew i had to continue living ,

at times our feelings are beyond us ,

they are beyond the way we think ,

the way we present ourselves to other people and to us ,

i took a walk the other day ,

i thought of all the things i wanted to sacrifice to feel whole again ,

but i knew i would feel less of myself ,

i looked around in rooms full of people ,

that made me feel even more lonely ,

i held onto parts of myself just so i could feel at home again ,

none of that would help me at times ,

less complaining ,

made no difference just created a whole lot of background thoughts that never seem to stop ,

so many unclosed tabs ,

that run in the background ,

seeking peace ,

running through the present times trying to be in the moment instead of drowning ,

shaken a bit ,

what is this life ?

i took a walk the other day ,

to camp less on these thoughts ,

to see life differently ,

leaning towards seeing life differently ,

trusting the process ,

hoping for the best x