available ,

i could hear the cracks that are coming from my heart as it breaks into pieces ,

i am trying to hold my breathe a bit longer in this cold room ,

i feel a bit alone with every effort going unnoticed ,

i see with being pure and genuine everything just takes a toll out of you ,

i am a mess ,

i am horrible ,

how do i look at the mirror without feeling less of myself ?

how do i say i am enough without feeling less of that ?

i am still grieving the loss of myself ,

days are getting colder and colder ,

but yet , i still stand at being "fine"

will you love me down just as you said you would ?

will you ever see me for who i really am ?

would you take me in with everything that i come with ?

i am stripped down naked ,

i come to you raw ,

hence , it is easy for you to do what you do ,

have you ever thought of what that does to me ?

it gets colder and colder , as i put together my self-worth ,

i feel dirty ,

i feel less of myself , sometimes ,

i feel less deserving of a lot things that i should be praising ,

none of us is making this easy ,

by day , the cracks are expending as i hold my breathe ,

watching the tears flood the gates ,

is it because it feels like i am vacant ?